Watch the blues away

Edit on 12/04/14

A lovely F2 friend of mine told me that she had found this film list useful after a stressful on-call and Airplane! cheered her up.
Ergo, this list film list is applicable (hopefully) if you replace the word "hormones" with "stress". A big hug being sent to anyone who is stressed and reading this, especially if this blog is the cause of your stress.

Ah, lovely hormones/stress. The human body reminding you it's chemicals are in charge.

It could be because my ovaries are getting frustrated for choosing to not have a baby during my peak fertility or maybe, just maybe, it's because there's more for me to be grumpy about as I get older, but I have found that my pre-menstrual stress (PMS.. TMI?) has been more noticeable as the years have gone by.

I have added on the generic "tips" about coping with PMS at the end of the blog, but had to share this ABC news piece I found about the health benefit of sex (opens in a new window) because of the amazing facial expression of the lady in the video still (suitable for work). It deserves a place here, not at the bottom of the post.

Dearest films,
We've been through that VHS-to-DVD moment you had, when you stopped being reasonably priced at the cinema and I still love you, despite Inception and 47 Ronin. Where would I be without you? (hint: probably more productive but not nearly as happy or as good at some pub quiz questions).

So why did I choose films as my distraction? You have a rough idea how long you'll be taken from the beginning of a story to the end, there are moving pictures and you almost always know what you're buying in to, as shown by the video below.

I'm going to give anyone reading this credit that they know to deal with issues rather than ignoring them, but when needed films are pure, beautiful distracting relief for a couple of hours and may leave you more able to tackle whatever it is that's making you stressed.

Oh, and they can give you legitimate reason to cry if you're in need of a good sob. This is where non-hormone relating readers can start reading.

So here are some of my top stress/hormone-busting films and their pros and cons.
Please leave comments with your suggestions if you agree, disagree or even if you're a spam bot who wants to be my friend.

Evita

Pro: Singing, Antonio Banderas and you can tell people you're crying because the story has moved you or because Lloyd Webber hasn't done anything decent since edit: Starlight Express came after Evita, I was wrong. Sorry Andy L-W
Cons: Singing, you end up wishing you could Argentinian tango and you end up spending ages reading about the historical background to the film. It's also about a wonderful woman who ultimately passed away due to an illness which started in her cervix which may not be what you want at this time of the month.

The Sound of Music

Pros: Nuns, more singing but this time songs you know, positive-ish resolution if you ignore the bigger historical context and you are reminded of Julie Andrews' favourite things. Some of these things may be your favourite too!
Cons: Nazis, some people have a deathly phobia of whiskers/kittens. Avoid if you don't like people singing about them. It goes on a bit too long. I suggest turning it off after they perform in front of everyone as a family, because we all know that's how things finish in real life, with everyone applauding you and your 7 adopted children. Win.

Kill Bill

Pros: Your uterus gets to kick other people in the face. Well, Uterus Thurman does.See what I did there? She's one of the few big Hollywood kick-arse characters who isn't dressed up in underwear to do her job. It's empowering and bloody, so relatable (sorry, had to). Also, you may be inspired to join in and do some kung-fu (see "gentle exercise")
Cons: There's no cry-factor to it unless you're upset Tarantino hasn't done the prequel yet, it's sort of difficult to eat chocolate to and you'll end up wanting to watch the other 2 which can seriously reduce your productivity. You get the "Woo Hoo" song stuck in your head and as far as I know, it never leaves.

Closer

Pros: If you're single, this film is brilliant. You are allowed to be bitter and twisted about relationships and watch Clive Owen. It definitely rinses out some of those feelings and makes you feel better.
Cons: If you are in a nice relationship, it's a real bummer. Also, it has Natalie Portman in it. Personally, I find her beauty and talent very frustrating when I feel fat and dumpy. You can be assured, however, that no matter how weepy you feel, Natalie has probably cried more:

Eat, pray, love.

Pros: None
Cons: Everything. I had to put this in just so people wouldn't try and watch it like I did. That's why I put surprised kitty there instead. Just watch that for 2 hours.

Airplane!

Pros: One of the funniest films ever made. It distracts you the whole way through and is just a cracker. Most of my female friends haven't even seen this film yet because it's a bit old-school, which is great, seeing it for the first time is one of the best things you can ever do.
Cons: Again, no cry factor, unless you want to weep at the fact there aren't many comedies which come close to being as good.

La vita è bella

Pros: It. Has. Everything. You will go "aww" then "aww!" then "baawwwwwwwwwww!" and end up in a big heap and your hormones will seem a lot, lot less significant.
Cons: It really will move you, be careful. If you're looking for something light and fluffy, then go with a generic Disney, not this.



Now for the tips bit!

1) Get the pain and emotional side sorted if it's interfering with daily activities. Go see your friendly local GP to talk about options for controlling pain or a sexual health clinic to see if they can give you advice. You can also talk to your GP about any unwanted emotional effects your cycle is causing and explore the options.

2) Have an orgasm. Yep, I'm a modern women who put the word "orgasm" in a blog and it's true, the medically minded out there will know the physiological reasons. Apparently better for the ladies if they're wearing socks.

3) Gentle exercise. People have probably said this enough and, personally, it makes me want to throw a tub of icecream at them because being hormonal is the perfect excuse to not move from the duvet, but I should mention it anyway.

4) General distraction (see, like, everything I just wrote....)

Personally?
I put "I am going to go a little bit bananas" for a couple of days on my calendar each month. This way I have warning and can be aware.

If you have a partner who gets the brunt of the stress, knowing the timing of your cycle means you can pre-warn them. It gives him or her time to either buy plane tickets or rack up some brownie points because anything they say or do could be amplified in your head 100 times.
I suggest they send you a youtube video of a kitten because then they also get to look at kittens. It's a win win situation. Again, I can't stress this enough, do not do this if you have the whiskers/kittens phobia as mentioned previously.

Let your lady-bits beat you up for a couple of days and try and forget about it, because in comparison to 20-30 years in the future, this is them being forgiving.